title from an internet video by Loading Ready Run.
I'm not really sure what to write. Also it's hard to write properly on a phone, even one with a qwerty keypad.
uh so. .. life is a thing.
Rent is annoying. I would really like to use that money elsewhere. But it's worth it to have our own house/space.
Except housework is also annoying. Like seriously I just washed those and now they're dirty again, sigh.
Children, they certainly contribute to the aforementioned mess. Did you know it's quite annoying to be constantly cleaning rice off the floor? Especially when the dining table is on carpet. Letting it dry and then vacuuming it is easiest but seriously kid stop shoving handfuls of rice into your mouth while watching t.v. Also stop eating on the couch! Just because I'm in the kitchen doesn't mean my rules don't apply! (btw the child in question is 2 so... mess is expected)
It's also quite difficult to work with one child individually because it doesn't matter what you've given the other one to do they still need to be right with you watching/interfering with what you're doing with his brother. My best chance to work with the 4 year old is when the 2 year old is napping but that doesn't always happen and sometimes I get stuck with Lobster(2) in bed because he cries if I try to leave (even if he's already asleep). It's even harder getting time with Lobster because if I give Turtle(4) something to occupy him then Lobster doesn't care what I'm trying to do with him he just wants to do what his brother's doing. It's not usually a huge issue, in general working with them both is fine. It's just occasionally I'd like to focus on something in particular that the other one doesn't need or can't do yet.
I believe it's fairly normal for parents to fear they aren't doing enough for/with their children and are failing their children in some way. It's certainly something I struggle with quite often. Turns out though that having your partner tell you they don't believe you can handle raising the children is something different entirely and can quite break your spirit.
Also turns out that getting told that right after hearing from the uni that they've looked at your results and are kicking you out of your course and you're not allowed to re-enrol for the semester or year and when you do re-enrol it will be under special conditions (there is obviously a massive story behind all that which i won't be going into right now). Turns out it can really f**k you around getting told that literally no-one thinks you can adult successfully.
so yeah
Everything is fine.. sort of.
