YAYNESS!!!!!

i wasnt actually going to post about this coz it feels a little... idk showy off. but wat the heck. im excited about it therefore ill blog about it.



umm yeh
well...

on friday i sorta

well...
when i started writing this

basically, last friday i got a laptop and i is really excited about it but im trying not to show it too much (not that its that hard since noone looks). but yeh... im incredibly excited but i dont know how to say face to face that i got it. i dont know how to start such a convo. therefore the excitement shall stay here.
:P

YAY

lols
:P

arrogance

i never used to think that i was treated differently because of my age.
but recently it seems to me that people(as in people in my homegroup) have been treating me differently to how they used to. it could just be coz I'm seeing a lot more of them this year coz of the common room, but it feels like more than that.
and its only the girls that are treating me differently, the guys that i hung out with last year still treat me the same that they always have. i don't know... i cant even explain it properly. and its not like they're treating me badly or anything, its just different. maybe its just me and the moods I'm in. sometimes it seems like i get included more (although i think its usually just me including myself) but other times it seems like I'm getting subtly snubbed or laughed at behind my back (now i just sound crazy) but i cant explain it.
its just... in certain situations, its like you don't expect me to understand.
but I'm not stupid you know
and just coz I'm younger or coz i wasn't hanging out with you guys at the wall doesn't mean i don't understand innuendo
i do generally understand wat you mean in situations or wen ur using innuendo. i just don't always let on that i do. but even if i didn't there's no need to be so goddamn arrogant about the fact that you think ur smarter or better then me because of it.
this post is mainly coz of one particular incident that happened today, i wasn't really angry over it, but it did remind me of all the other times and allowed me to articulate this post.
it wasn't like it was something big or anything, it was just: the look as they said 'you dont get it do you?' in that voice. its the fact that they assume my ignorance of what they mean. that's the part i don't like, they're assumption of wat I'm like or at the very least of wat i know.it never fails to annoy me. i call it arrogance. you may disagree, but thats not really the point is it?

okay, ive had to edit this coz someone took it the wrong way. this post wasnt aimed at anyone, i was just trying to get a message across. apparantly i failed coz you got the wrong message, iys my fault coz im not very good at explaining myself. im going to add some more to this as i go, but at the moment i actually have a job to do so id better do that.

i know but...

i dont think i can change.



i try, really i do but... i cant

i have changed a little

but not noticebly






well... this was gunna be a hell of a lot longer with a whole bunch of me rambling that prob would have turned to some random philosophicalness. (i dont care if that sentence doesnt make sense). but i left it too long to finish and now i cant remember what my point was, let alone write it in any legible format. therefore this will have to do :P

grrrr

the title is that way for many reasons
1) I'm getting sorta annoyed at this site, mainly coz of the whole awkwardness with people reading it, yeh backwards i know. anyways
2) I'm also annoyed at the site coz, well its takes up WAY too much of the limited amount of time i have on the computer
which leads me to
3) I'm annoyed at these damned timed computers!!! in my last couple of posts i have been referring to a certain post that i posted about how i was confused about stuff etc. but when i went back to look at it, it wasn't on my blog, coz it was still a draft, tho i could swear that i published it :( so i blame the computers, i think it must have kicked me off before the message sent.
anyways....
4) school sucks, this is my major point of contention atm. my English teacher is a bitch(and yes, i know if id actually done the work id have nothing to complain about, but she only gets so pissy at me, if its anyone else she doesn't get any where near as angry) stupid bloody one-sided grumble grumble grumble etc.(we only had to 'try' to hand up one out of two things, my poster is rather non-existent so i tried to finish my essay within one day, and almost succeeded, except i didn't have enough time to do a good copy of it. so i tried to be a good little student(when will i learn that that doesn't work) and went and saw her at the start of lunch to tell her it wasn't quite ready. so i was standing there with the draft in my hand saying i just hadn't done a good copy yet (the way she reacted you'd think id just told her i hadn't started yet) and she starts having a complete go at me coz I'm "not devoting appropriate time to English". and then had a bigger go at me when she tried to get me to do it during lunch an i told her i had to go to classics. she had another go at me about doing my classics instead of English. stupid bloody bitch) yeh, that's really the only teacher i can complain about, my English teachers a bitch, and my physics teachers a complete retard, quite literally I'm sure. my other teachers are fair good tho
5) school sucks even excluding the teachers. which obviously means that I'm the problem, and i am. i know i am. the main problem is the fact that i very rarely do homework, unless I'm in the common room, i seem to do quite a bit there. but what i mean is, i didn't do any homework AT HOME. which doesn't help me keep up in class much.
there were probably more reasons i was angry but after sitting here for an hour I've forgotten them all.
anyways, I'm running outa time again
umm... ill eventually get around to actually publishing that other post, eventually, if i can be bothered :P
YAY 4 day weekend!!!!!
the fact that I'm gonna have to spend half of it doing English homework isn't the point