One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, You said that once I decided to follow You You'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I most needed you most You would leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
back to what i was saying
anyway, back to what i was originally talking about before i got distracted in my last post.
i don't know why dad decided to send me here
it was Thursday of the second to last week of school for term one and grandma(dads mum) had been visiting with us for a week, she was planning to return home the next day, Friday. Thursday at school was just an ordinary day of school, i went to my lessons (fell asleep during math but... anyway) and caught the bus home, just like normal. but then it started getting a little weird when dad picked me up from the bus stop, he suddenly announced that he'd decided to send me home with grandma instead of one of the boys(my brothers) because i am older and more experienced with travel.
now where was i... that's what i get for leaving this overnight, i completely forget what i was going to say.
ah yes...
i didn't know whether to believe him at first but as the evening wore on i came to see that he was serious, he organised with grandma to pick me up early the next morning and told me to pack my bag for a week or so away. i was still rather confuzzled but did what he said, i actually managed to remember to pack my copy of the odyssey and my maths DI, i even packed my English supporting studies for fly away peter (despite the fact that it was actually due on the Friday that i was travelling on). so I've managed to complete my odyssey essay and my maths DI, although i haven't managed to do any more of my English, not that it would help me.
anyway, so the next morning (Friday the 3rd April) grandma came and we left by about 8ish, dad had given me (verbal) directions on how to get through the city, which was nerve racking, but once we got through the city we just continued following the road all the way to broken hill, then onto cobar.
which is where i am now btw, Cobar, NSW.
although we left at 8ish we didn't get here till about 9 at night, hence about 13 hours travel. tiring and long and... sorta boring, not much to do in a car. and my legs got really stiff. but once we got here it was OK.
i cant be bothered writing anymore atm, I've lost my train of thought again. ill post more later about the rest of my trip.
i don't know why dad decided to send me here
it was Thursday of the second to last week of school for term one and grandma(dads mum) had been visiting with us for a week, she was planning to return home the next day, Friday. Thursday at school was just an ordinary day of school, i went to my lessons (fell asleep during math but... anyway) and caught the bus home, just like normal. but then it started getting a little weird when dad picked me up from the bus stop, he suddenly announced that he'd decided to send me home with grandma instead of one of the boys(my brothers) because i am older and more experienced with travel.
now where was i... that's what i get for leaving this overnight, i completely forget what i was going to say.
ah yes...
i didn't know whether to believe him at first but as the evening wore on i came to see that he was serious, he organised with grandma to pick me up early the next morning and told me to pack my bag for a week or so away. i was still rather confuzzled but did what he said, i actually managed to remember to pack my copy of the odyssey and my maths DI, i even packed my English supporting studies for fly away peter (despite the fact that it was actually due on the Friday that i was travelling on). so I've managed to complete my odyssey essay and my maths DI, although i haven't managed to do any more of my English, not that it would help me.
anyway, so the next morning (Friday the 3rd April) grandma came and we left by about 8ish, dad had given me (verbal) directions on how to get through the city, which was nerve racking, but once we got through the city we just continued following the road all the way to broken hill, then onto cobar.
which is where i am now btw, Cobar, NSW.
although we left at 8ish we didn't get here till about 9 at night, hence about 13 hours travel. tiring and long and... sorta boring, not much to do in a car. and my legs got really stiff. but once we got here it was OK.
i cant be bothered writing anymore atm, I've lost my train of thought again. ill post more later about the rest of my trip.
hmm the strangeness of my life
i don't know why I'm here
and i don't mean the philosophical 'here' of this life
i mean my physical here right now at this moment
those of you who i go to school with may have noticed that i wasn't actually at school for the last week of school
some of you I've actually contacted and talked to since i randomly disappeared. but whether anyone else has noticed i disappeared i don't know
i guess, its sort of my paranoia over whether or not people actually notice me at school, i mean, the teachers probably would coz they're marking the role, but i always wonder whether or not my classmates who maybe aren't close friends but people who i know, but its hard to know coz if you have to ask whether or not someone noticed you were missing, then they would probably said that they had, whether or not it was true that they did.
yeh, that just got fairly long and confusing
anyway, i just saw a car drive past, which reminded me that I'm sorta, not quite expecting it to happen but waiting just the same, for one of my old 'friends' to show up here. since I've been here, the first question everyone asks is how I'm liking it here, and when i explain that i come from here they then ask whether I'm going to catch up with any of my old friends, but as i start to explain that since it was so long I'm not going to bother looking anyone up, my grandma jumps in and announces that I'm trying to find out if Ella Roberts still lives in town (when in actual fact i had no such plans and only mentioned her name to grandma coz she specially asked whether or not i still remembered anyone from here). from there Carolyn(one of grandmas friends) says that she thinks that they live in Harcourt street (which would make sense coz that's the address Ella last gave me), then everyone leaves and i think (foolishly) that everyone has forgotten about that idea, until Carolyn pops in one night, she and grandma start talking and i think nothing of the visit, but then, as she's leaving she announces that she happened to see jean(Ella's mum) down the street and told her to bring Ella around in the next few days!! DAMMIT!! just as id thought id got away without having what is undoubtedly going to be an awkward and most likely a quite angry conversation!! but she still hasn't shown up yet and its been a couple of days so hopefully shes not gunna appear. grandma is under the misapprehension that if Ella doesn't show I'm gunna be upset, but like i told her when she asked, i really couldn't care less whether or not she appeared (except maybe preferring that she wouldn't).
and i don't mean the philosophical 'here' of this life
i mean my physical here right now at this moment
those of you who i go to school with may have noticed that i wasn't actually at school for the last week of school
some of you I've actually contacted and talked to since i randomly disappeared. but whether anyone else has noticed i disappeared i don't know
i guess, its sort of my paranoia over whether or not people actually notice me at school, i mean, the teachers probably would coz they're marking the role, but i always wonder whether or not my classmates who maybe aren't close friends but people who i know, but its hard to know coz if you have to ask whether or not someone noticed you were missing, then they would probably said that they had, whether or not it was true that they did.
yeh, that just got fairly long and confusing
anyway, i just saw a car drive past, which reminded me that I'm sorta, not quite expecting it to happen but waiting just the same, for one of my old 'friends' to show up here. since I've been here, the first question everyone asks is how I'm liking it here, and when i explain that i come from here they then ask whether I'm going to catch up with any of my old friends, but as i start to explain that since it was so long I'm not going to bother looking anyone up, my grandma jumps in and announces that I'm trying to find out if Ella Roberts still lives in town (when in actual fact i had no such plans and only mentioned her name to grandma coz she specially asked whether or not i still remembered anyone from here). from there Carolyn(one of grandmas friends) says that she thinks that they live in Harcourt street (which would make sense coz that's the address Ella last gave me), then everyone leaves and i think (foolishly) that everyone has forgotten about that idea, until Carolyn pops in one night, she and grandma start talking and i think nothing of the visit, but then, as she's leaving she announces that she happened to see jean(Ella's mum) down the street and told her to bring Ella around in the next few days!! DAMMIT!! just as id thought id got away without having what is undoubtedly going to be an awkward and most likely a quite angry conversation!! but she still hasn't shown up yet and its been a couple of days so hopefully shes not gunna appear. grandma is under the misapprehension that if Ella doesn't show I'm gunna be upset, but like i told her when she asked, i really couldn't care less whether or not she appeared (except maybe preferring that she wouldn't).
there is a reason behind me not particularly wanting to see her, its not just my strange unsociableness. but that's for another story, after I've explained some other stuff that's happened to me that led up to me becoming angry at Ella.
but there was actually going to be a different subject for this post, as evidenced by the first few lines, but then i got distracted. ain't that life tho? anyway i could go back to my original topic but i cant be bothered writing anymore atm so ill just publish this and write some more later.
official
well i guess ive now officially arrived at blogger
now that ive publicly started following staberfoyle park
and there are so little followers so its not like i could be overlooked
anyways, i was gunna write a longer blog but its 1.43 in the morning
and i have the worst pain atm
i tend to lose vast tracts of time without being aware of it
its now 1.57 in the morning and i am so tired coz i havent slept properly in the last few weeks (by properly i mean a semblance of normality that i can usually muster up).
if you use properly as meaning what your supposed to get in sleep with proper sleeping patterns then i havent been sleeping like that for a couple of years now
for me everything seems to go back a 'couple of years' but then, it really does all start there.
not that dwelling on it does me any good especially not at the moment
one more thing before i go tho: i honestly dont understand how people can stand to drink alcohol. i mean apart from the logical point that it is actually poisoning you. theres also the taste to be taken into consideration, honestly it tastes and smells like stale vinegar, not that i actually know what that tastes like, but it really cant be that far off it. actually i can tell why they call it spirits, which reminds me of somthing else its similar to, gasoline, if youve smelt that sharp burny scent of gasoline then that is exactly the same description of alcohol. but anyway now i really do have to try to sleep, tho whether im sticking with the couch or deciding to go with the bed, i havent decided yet. thats really dodgily worded. but im too tired to fix it, so ill just post and fix it later, much later.
now that ive publicly started following staberfoyle park
and there are so little followers so its not like i could be overlooked
anyways, i was gunna write a longer blog but its 1.43 in the morning
and i have the worst pain atm
i tend to lose vast tracts of time without being aware of it
its now 1.57 in the morning and i am so tired coz i havent slept properly in the last few weeks (by properly i mean a semblance of normality that i can usually muster up).
if you use properly as meaning what your supposed to get in sleep with proper sleeping patterns then i havent been sleeping like that for a couple of years now
for me everything seems to go back a 'couple of years' but then, it really does all start there.
not that dwelling on it does me any good especially not at the moment
one more thing before i go tho: i honestly dont understand how people can stand to drink alcohol. i mean apart from the logical point that it is actually poisoning you. theres also the taste to be taken into consideration, honestly it tastes and smells like stale vinegar, not that i actually know what that tastes like, but it really cant be that far off it. actually i can tell why they call it spirits, which reminds me of somthing else its similar to, gasoline, if youve smelt that sharp burny scent of gasoline then that is exactly the same description of alcohol. but anyway now i really do have to try to sleep, tho whether im sticking with the couch or deciding to go with the bed, i havent decided yet. thats really dodgily worded. but im too tired to fix it, so ill just post and fix it later, much later.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
random muses
its strange how I've practically always said i wouldn't bother with blogging but now I'm making two posts in two days
although the frequency so far is probably mainly coz i have access to a computer with the net and not much else to do except play comp games
I've heard or just assumed that most people use blogs as sorta a way to release wat they're feeling
tho i do know some people also use it as a way to communicate with peoples
i prob wont use it for the second way
altho if people r honest in blogs they can be a good way to learn more about people who generally don't let you in on wats happening in their lives
that's the reason i got this blog thing i guess
if i wanted to let someone know wat was happening in my life i could just show them the blogs instead of trying to explain it all out loud
coz sometimes i have trouble expressing myself in words and i tend to become excited and talk really fast and then all my words blur and jumble together and get really confusing, and then people don't understand wat i was trying to explain in the first place
which gets me frustrated so i don't try to explain again
so then they think i was just trying to get attention and that whatever i was trying to explain obviously cant be serious so they don't think about it anymore
also i can tend to downplay major elements in my life even to myself, sometimes i wont admit how much things have affected me
and other times i dwell for way too long on how relatively little day-to-day things have had such large impacts on how i do things or how i think about things
so i guess ill have to start making a list of some of the major things that have happened to me over the years that i think have affected who i am as a person
a couple of things in particular automatically jump to mind
but they're so important ill have to take a while to think about them and just how they've affected me before i write them up
that's enough for me to write for now, ill prob end up writing more later
although the frequency so far is probably mainly coz i have access to a computer with the net and not much else to do except play comp games
I've heard or just assumed that most people use blogs as sorta a way to release wat they're feeling
tho i do know some people also use it as a way to communicate with peoples
i prob wont use it for the second way
altho if people r honest in blogs they can be a good way to learn more about people who generally don't let you in on wats happening in their lives
that's the reason i got this blog thing i guess
if i wanted to let someone know wat was happening in my life i could just show them the blogs instead of trying to explain it all out loud
coz sometimes i have trouble expressing myself in words and i tend to become excited and talk really fast and then all my words blur and jumble together and get really confusing, and then people don't understand wat i was trying to explain in the first place
which gets me frustrated so i don't try to explain again
so then they think i was just trying to get attention and that whatever i was trying to explain obviously cant be serious so they don't think about it anymore
also i can tend to downplay major elements in my life even to myself, sometimes i wont admit how much things have affected me
and other times i dwell for way too long on how relatively little day-to-day things have had such large impacts on how i do things or how i think about things
so i guess ill have to start making a list of some of the major things that have happened to me over the years that i think have affected who i am as a person
a couple of things in particular automatically jump to mind
but they're so important ill have to take a while to think about them and just how they've affected me before i write them up
that's enough for me to write for now, ill prob end up writing more later
Friday, April 10, 2009
first blog
i always said that i wouldnt have ablog coz i never write
but then i was reading somones blog one night
so i decided to make my own
but just like i knew would happen i now have nothing to write about now i have it
and noone is going to get to read it coz im never gunna make it public
allwell
i guess i can just write it for me
its probably better that way
although im never gunna get to write anything on it coz im never online
but i guess the times i do get to write on it it'll be worthwhile coz i'll (presumably) have more to write about then if i wrote on it all the time
but i'm still probably not gunna write much on it coz i can only write when im in certain moods and when im in those moods im usually not on a computer
i once did write a blog about my inability to write blogs
i found that rather amusing (being small minded and all)
but i managed to come across fairly legibly in it so i might go and find it and post it here
well i seem to have written enough to classify as a blog/post (watever)
so i'll finish this off and go back to being suprised about finding out new things
such as how taking a single moment to do somthing nice for somthing can affect their entire day or more
i was amazed to find out recently that a single comment i made caused someone to rethink what they thought of themselves
although i dont think they decided to believe me at least it got them thinking
but then i was reading somones blog one night
so i decided to make my own
but just like i knew would happen i now have nothing to write about now i have it
and noone is going to get to read it coz im never gunna make it public
allwell
i guess i can just write it for me
its probably better that way
although im never gunna get to write anything on it coz im never online
but i guess the times i do get to write on it it'll be worthwhile coz i'll (presumably) have more to write about then if i wrote on it all the time
but i'm still probably not gunna write much on it coz i can only write when im in certain moods and when im in those moods im usually not on a computer
i once did write a blog about my inability to write blogs
i found that rather amusing (being small minded and all)
but i managed to come across fairly legibly in it so i might go and find it and post it here
well i seem to have written enough to classify as a blog/post (watever)
so i'll finish this off and go back to being suprised about finding out new things
such as how taking a single moment to do somthing nice for somthing can affect their entire day or more
i was amazed to find out recently that a single comment i made caused someone to rethink what they thought of themselves
although i dont think they decided to believe me at least it got them thinking
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