and i don't mean the philosophical 'here' of this life
i mean my physical here right now at this moment
those of you who i go to school with may have noticed that i wasn't actually at school for the last week of school
some of you I've actually contacted and talked to since i randomly disappeared. but whether anyone else has noticed i disappeared i don't know
i guess, its sort of my paranoia over whether or not people actually notice me at school, i mean, the teachers probably would coz they're marking the role, but i always wonder whether or not my classmates who maybe aren't close friends but people who i know, but its hard to know coz if you have to ask whether or not someone noticed you were missing, then they would probably said that they had, whether or not it was true that they did.
yeh, that just got fairly long and confusing
anyway, i just saw a car drive past, which reminded me that I'm sorta, not quite expecting it to happen but waiting just the same, for one of my old 'friends' to show up here. since I've been here, the first question everyone asks is how I'm liking it here, and when i explain that i come from here they then ask whether I'm going to catch up with any of my old friends, but as i start to explain that since it was so long I'm not going to bother looking anyone up, my grandma jumps in and announces that I'm trying to find out if Ella Roberts still lives in town (when in actual fact i had no such plans and only mentioned her name to grandma coz she specially asked whether or not i still remembered anyone from here). from there Carolyn(one of grandmas friends) says that she thinks that they live in Harcourt street (which would make sense coz that's the address Ella last gave me), then everyone leaves and i think (foolishly) that everyone has forgotten about that idea, until Carolyn pops in one night, she and grandma start talking and i think nothing of the visit, but then, as she's leaving she announces that she happened to see jean(Ella's mum) down the street and told her to bring Ella around in the next few days!! DAMMIT!! just as id thought id got away without having what is undoubtedly going to be an awkward and most likely a quite angry conversation!! but she still hasn't shown up yet and its been a couple of days so hopefully shes not gunna appear. grandma is under the misapprehension that if Ella doesn't show I'm gunna be upset, but like i told her when she asked, i really couldn't care less whether or not she appeared (except maybe preferring that she wouldn't).
there is a reason behind me not particularly wanting to see her, its not just my strange unsociableness. but that's for another story, after I've explained some other stuff that's happened to me that led up to me becoming angry at Ella.
but there was actually going to be a different subject for this post, as evidenced by the first few lines, but then i got distracted. ain't that life tho? anyway i could go back to my original topic but i cant be bothered writing anymore atm so ill just publish this and write some more later.
You know what? I actually did notice. On the Friday. I thought, at that stage, maybe you were sick though.
ReplyDeleteYep. Just thought you might like to know.